扒车喵不同的社会和文化相互交往已经是不可回避的现实。人们面临着从心理、生理、社会、语言、文学多角度的融合。中西方国家的人们在相互交往时产生大量文化的碰撞，这种碰撞及差异背后就是中西方价值观念的差异。中西方文化，在很早以前被人们认为是对立的、矛盾的、不能共存的。彼此对对方的文化采取的态度也是全盘否定、拒绝和排斥的。后来人们发现，交流才是正途。在海外问答论坛Quora上，美国网友问道：总觉得中国文化很肤浅，我怎样才能深刻理解它？这引起各国网友的围观和热议，我们来看看他们的观点。
问题：我怎样才能深刻理解中国文化？
美国网友托马斯的回答
Interesting question.
很有趣的问题。
I have lived in China for several years and married a Chinese wife. I think my first impulse is to say, “never expect to fully understand Chinese culture.”
我在中国生活了几年，还娶了一位中国妻子，我想我的第一个冲动是说，“永远不要指望能完全理解中国文化。”
This is not because they are too difficult to understand, but because the country we call China is a vast place with a long history. As a foreigner, it is wrong to expect to fully understand what it means to be a Chinese, or to do things in a Chinese way.
这并不是因为它们太难理解，而是因为我们称之为中国的国家是一个地大物博的地方，有着悠久的历史，作为一个外国人期望完全理解作为中国人意味着什么，或者以中国的方式做事是错误的。
Leaving aside all the complexities, I think you can be pragmatic. If you just want to integrate into modern Chinese culture, I will give you the following suggestions:
撇开所有的复杂方面不谈，我认为你可以务实一点。假设你只是想融入现代中国文化，我会给你以下建议：
1.Understand your position in interpersonal communication. In China, family always comes first, followed by relatives and old friends. They also welcome new friends, but will not give priority to making friends.
1.在人际交往中了解你的位置，在中国，家庭总是第一位的，然后是亲戚和老朋友，他们也欢迎新朋友，但不会将交友放在优先考虑的位置。
2.Dinner etiquette. In life, you are often asked “have you eaten?”, This is a common greeting. Never underestimate the importance of a meal in China. A meal is an important occasion to solve problems. They spend a lot of time, resources and energy making, eating and buying food, not just to fill their stomachs.
2.饭局的礼仪。在生活中，你会常被问到“吃了吗？”，这是常用的问候语，在中国永远不要低估一顿饭的重要性，饭局是解决问题的重要场合。他们花费了大量的时间、资源和精力来制作、食用和购买食物不是为了填饱肚子那么简单。
3.”Face” is everything. There are hundreds of ways for Chinese people to recognize or humiliate you, which can be reflected in some small details, such as who sits where, when to start talking, what food to eat… If you can read these codes, you will know your position in their heart.
3.“面子”就是一切。中国人认可或羞辱你的方式有上百种，这些都可以从一些小细节里体现出来，比如谁坐在哪里，什么时候开始说话，吃什么菜……如果你能读懂这些代码，你就知道你在他们心里的位置。
4.Negotiation. China always gives you a choice, even if it’s one of the main things they want.
4.谈判。即使你清楚自己想要什么，中国人也会给你一个选择，这是中国人为人处事的主要标志之一，他们总是让另一个人必须总是有选择的余地。
The final agreement is not the final result. How many times have we signed the final signature after signing the agreement on something, but found that the matter has not ended yet. We will meet again at a big meal and then conduct a thorough renegotiation. They also call it “yin yang contract”.
5.最终协议不是最终结果。多少次我们在某件事下签完协议后最后的签名，却发现事情并未到此为止，我们会在一顿丰盛的大餐上再次聚首，然后重新进行一次彻底的重新谈判，他们也称之为“阴阳合同”。
5.Contacts are very important. Chinese people establish relationships with companies or institutions on the basis of personal relationships.
人脉很重要，中国人在个人关系的基础上与公司或机构建立关系。
6.Waste is the embodiment of idiocy. I haven’t seen a respected Chinese who squanders. Economy and efficiency are the pillars of China’s success. They think waste is a great crime.
6.浪费是白痴的体现。我还没见过一个受人尊敬的中国人挥霍浪费，经济和效率是中国成功的支柱，他们认为浪费就是极大的犯罪。
7.Nature is beautiful, but only a few people have a realistic understanding of nature. China has a highly domesticated natural image, such as sports talkative, vegetarian cat, highly exquisite flower arrangement and so on. The Chinese romanticize nature.
7.他们崇敬大自然，但只有少数人对大自然有现实的理解，中国有一种高度驯化的自然形象，比如喜欢自然运动、素食猫、高度精致的插花等等，中国人把自然浪漫化了。
Generally speaking, I like Chinese culture. When you are there, you will feel a sense of rebirth, surrounded by the richness and vitality of an ancient culture full of pragmatism and philosophy.
总的来说，我喜欢中国文化。当你在那里的时候，你会感觉到一种重生，被一种富有实用主义和哲学的古老文化的丰富和活力所包围的感觉。
美国网友皮特•博尔顿的回答
I prefer to answer this question by telling my life experience when I came to China 11 years ago. Although I lived and worked in Seoul, South Korea, from 2001 to 2007, I still have strong American cultural characteristics. I am as arrogant as you and not infected by the elegant and humble culture of East Asia.
我更愿意通过讲述11年前来到中国时的生活经历来回答这个问题，尽管从2001年到2007年，我曾在韩国首尔生活和工作，但我仍然有很强的美国文化特质，像你一样傲慢自大，一点没被东亚优雅谦逊的文化所感染。
Like many Americans, I am easily excited, talkative and impatient. I am a typical “omniscient” and often lack humility in my work and life.
我和许多美国人一样，情绪容易激动，健谈，没耐心，是典型的“无所不知者”，在工作和生活中往往缺乏谦逊的态度。
South Korea is an Asian country with different cultural characteristics from the United States, but South Koreans are similar in the characteristics of self-expression I listed above, arrogant and arrogant.
韩国是一个亚洲国家，与美国有着不同的文化特质，但韩国人在我上面列出的关于自我表述的特质方面是相似的，骄纵而自大。
However, Chinese people are not like this. When I first came here, I have been trying to adapt to this humble and polite cultural environment.
然而，中国人不是这样的，当我第一次来到这里时，我一直在努力适应这种谦逊有礼的文化环境。
I’m so used to being associated with arrogant and boastful people that I think most people are the same, including myself.
我已经习惯了被大嘴巴和傲慢又爱好吹牛的人交往，以至于我以为大多数人都是一样的，包括我自己。
I’m from Texas and spent a lot of time on the east coast of the United States, so my circle of close friends are confident people. Here, as a talkative person, even if you can’t accurately describe yourself, it will make you more popular than a quiet person.
我是德克萨斯人，在美国东海岸度过了很多时间，所以我的亲密朋友圈都是充满自信的人，在这里，作为一个健谈的人，即使你不能准确地描述自己，也会让你比一个安静的人更受欢迎。
I remember my friends in the United States often laugh at quiet, silent people who work hard but never boast about their achievements.
我记得我在美国的朋友们经常嘲笑那些安静、沉默寡言的人，他们工作努力，却从来不会吹嘘自己的成就。
We would say, “quiet people are often the most dangerous,” or “if you don’t boast, it’s because you have nothing to boast about.”
我们会说，“安静的人往往是最危险的”，或者“如果你不吹嘘，那是因为你没有什么可吹嘘的。”
In other words, Americans have a “look at me, am I good!” We are used to it.
换句话说，美国人有一种“看着我，我厉害吗！”的心态，我们对此习以为常。
Therefore, when I came to China, I was subjected to a huge “cultural shock”. The Chinese people are relatively conservative and quiet, and are very reluctant to talk about their personal problems.
所以，当我来到中国时，我受到了巨大的“文化冲击”中国人比较保守、安静，非常不愿意谈论他们的个人问题。
The office atmosphere here is relatively quiet. Unlike South Korea, office politics and intrigues occupy the theme of work and life.
这里的办公室气氛相对安静，不像韩国，办公室政治和尔虞我诈占据着工作和生活的主题。
So in the first few years of adapting to China, it was difficult for me to adapt. But I stayed here because I found that the quiet lifestyle of Chinese people has some unique charm. In the United States and South Korea, I think I always focus on meeting people.
所以在适应中国的最初几年里，我很难适应。但我留在这里是因为我发现了中国人安静的生活方式有着某种独特的魅力。在美国和韩国，我觉得在与人会面时，我总是焦点。
Although sometimes unfamiliar, Americans will soon make fun of you. They make fun of you by observing your quirks and different behaviors, while Koreans will insult you directly when they find your weaknesses.
尽管有时不太熟，美国人很快就会拿你开玩笑，他们是通过观察你的怪癖和不同的举止来开玩笑的，而韩国人在发现你的弱点时会直接侮辱你。
But when I meet Chinese people, they don’t put me in the spotlight, so I become more quiet and don’t feel the need to entertain everyone with absurd stories or jokes.
但我和中国人在见面的时候他们并不会把我放在聚光灯下，因此我变得更加安静，不再觉得有必要用荒诞的故事或笑话来娱乐大家。
However, I do miss the laughter and chat atmosphere in the United States. Nevertheless, I have matured a lot in China, and I am proud to be more calm, modest and patient.
然而，我确实怀念美国的笑声和聊天的氛围。尽管如此，我在中国已经成熟了很多，我为自己变得更加冷静、谦逊和耐心而感到自豪。
To learn more about the cultural differences between Americans and Chinese, you can read an article published by verge, which is roughly as follows:
要更仔细地了解美国人和中国人之间的文化差异，你可以阅读Verge发布的一篇文章，大概如下：
“In the United States, we value freedom and individuality. But Chinese culture is very different. There, individuality may be regarded as strange or even dangerous. After studying Asian philosophy as an undergraduate, I learned that Chinese culture attaches particular importance to the interests of groups.”
“在美国，我们重视自由和个性。但中国文化非常不同。在那里，个性可能被视为奇怪甚至危险的东西。在本科学习亚洲哲学后，我了解到，中国文化尤其重视群体的利益。”
This group can take the family unit, workplace or society as a whole. In the United States, we like to show a person’s experience and preferences, not a group, and we don’t often say that the United States is a mixture of public interests.
这个群体可以以家庭单位、工作场所或社会作为一个整体。在美国，我们喜欢展示一个人的经历和喜好，而不是群体的，我们也不经常把美国说成是公共利益的混合体。
The concept of privacy in Chinese culture is also different from that in the United States. As far as I know, it is common to talk about age, income and marital status in the United States, but talking about these things in public can be regarded as gossip or taboo. In China, it is shameful to express feelings in public, but this is very common in the United States (especially in Dorchester, where couples often disclose their private affairs).
中国文化对隐私的概念也与美国不同。据我所知，在美国谈论年龄、收入和婚姻状况是很常见的，但在公共场合谈论这些事情可以被视为八卦或禁忌。在中国，在公共场合表达感情还是比较羞耻的，但在美国，这种情况非常常见（尤其是在多切斯特，夫妻经常将私事公诸于世）。
Anyway, we should respect the differences of other cultures, because if we are all the same, it will be too boring.
无论如何，我们应该尊重其他文化的差异，因为如果我们都是一样的，那就太无聊了。
