扒车喵What are the biggest ironies in India?
印度最大的讽刺是什么？
Answer Wiki
· You can piss in India, but not kiss in India.
· Indian moms want their daughter to control their husbands and expect their sons to control their wives.
· Parents want their children to stand out in a crowd but expect them to do what everybody else is doing.
· Everything that is run by government looks very bad, except government jobs.
· While we criticise Maria Sharapova for not knowing who Sachin Tendulkar is, we have been caught napping as we desperately Google our Nobel prize winner.
· A huge country of 1635 languages, yet united by a foreign language.
· Seeing a policeman makes us nervous rather than feeling safe.
· We often say “Atithi Devo Bhavah” but we do not allow visitor parking in our residential societies.
· We are always in a hurry but never on time!
· Where edible items are served and sold on streets for many, but footwear is sold in branded and AC showrooms.
· We’d rather spend more on daughters wedding than onher education.
· People kill their own girls in womb and seek out neighbor’s girls for ‘Kanya Puja’.
· It’s dangerous to talk to strangers, but it’s perfectly OK to marry one.
· All three superstars are “Khans” i.e; Muslims in a Hindu Majority country , but still Aamir calls it Intolerant.
回答Wiki
· 你可以在印度撒尿，但不要在印度亲吻。
· 印度妈妈希望他们的女儿控制自己的丈夫，并期望他们的儿子控制自己的妻子。
· 父母希望他们的孩子在人群中脱颖而出，但希望他们做其他人正在做的事情。
· 除政府工作外，政府管理的所有事情都非常糟糕。
· 虽然我们批评玛利亚莎拉波娃不知道Sachin Tendulkar是谁，但我们已经被抓住了，因为我们拼命谷歌我们的诺贝尔奖获得者。
· 这是一个拥有1635种语言的大国，但却被一门外语联合起来。
· 看到警察让我们紧张而不是感到安全。
· 我们经常说” Atithi Devo Bhavah “，但我们不允许访客在我们的住宅社区停车。
· 我们总是匆忙，但从来没有准时！
· 在许多人的街道上供应和销售可食用的食品，但鞋类在品牌和AC展厅出售。
· 我们宁愿花更多的女儿去参加婚礼而不是接受教育。
· 人们在子宫内杀死自己的女孩，并寻找邻居的女孩为’ Kanya Puja ‘。
· 与陌生人交谈是危险的，但与一个人结婚是完全可以的。
· 这三位超级巨星都是”可汗”，即; 印度教多数国家的穆斯林，但仍然是Aamir称之为不容忍。
· 1:A 14 year old can find drug peddler but the Police can’t.
· 1：14岁的人可以找到毒品贩子，但警察不能。
2: Girls getting raped, molested , oppressed remains hidden but stepping out of home after 8 PM is detected .
2：女孩被强奸，猥亵，被压迫仍被隐藏，但在晚上8点后被踩出家门被发现。
3: People who build our homes are themselves homeless.
3：建造房屋的人自己无家可归。
4: Radha — Krishna are worshiped here yet it’s a problem when daughter has a Boyfriend.
4：拉达 – 克里希纳在这里被崇拜，但是当女儿有男朋友时，这是一个问题。5: A black cat can stop 1000 people while traffic light can’t.
5: A black cat can stop 1000 people while traffic light can’t.
5：黑猫可以阻止1000人，而交通灯则不能。
6: Piss on road, we will accept it. Kiss on road, we won’t .
6：在路上小便，我们会接受它。亲吻路上，我们不会。
7: A decent politician salary would be around 60-70k but his/her net worth would be 60–70 crores.
7：一个体面的政治家薪水大约是60-70k，但他/她的净资产将是60-70亿卢比。
8: A cricket player earns in lakhs without being in playing 11 but the soldier martyred needs to prove his death.
8：板球运动员在没有参加11场比赛的情况下获得10万英镑，但士兵殉难需要证明他的死亡。
Everyone wants India to be superpower but also they utter ‘chowkidar chor hai ‘ (watchman is thief) while addressing Modi.
每个人都希望印度成为超级大国，但他们在向莫迪发表讲话时也会说出”chowkidar chor hai”（守望者是小偷）。
Many of the ironies are available on internet , I selected best of them according to me as asked in question .
互联网上有许多讽刺，我根据问题选择了最好的。
Ajit Kumar Panigrahi (अजित)
I remember, there was a girl in our high school. She was very good at studies and obviously cute too. She didn’t know anything except her books. She didn’t play with her friends, go to any school picnic, or talk to anyone (even girls) too much. She was the only girl in our class who secured above 90%.
She was like from .
我记得，我们高中时有一个女孩。她非常擅长学习，显然很可爱。除了她的书，她什么都不知道。她没有和朋友一起玩，去学校野餐，或者和任何人（甚至是女孩）聊天太多。她是我们班上唯一获得90％以上成绩的女孩。
她就像来自。
We all were sure that she will have a bright future. She wanted to become a teacher. She possessed all qualities for that. But the financial position of her family was not so good.
Her father is a Hindi teacher in a primary school with hardly and income of ₹ 10,000/- per month at that time. He was very strict with both of his daughters. Maybe that’s the reason for her rudeness and loneliness.
After our 10th examination, we all friends got separated. We didn’t have any conversation after that. The only thing I know about her is that she got admitted to +2 science.
After 2–3 years of our 10th exam, I heard from someone that her father stopped her from studying because she loved someone in her college. He thought she could leave them for that boy.
I don’t know any detailed information about that because I didn’t have any contact number of her nor any interest in her personal life. But, I feel sorry for her.
She called me this Tuesday evening. I didn’t know where she got my number, maybe from some mutual friend. She called me inviting me to her wedding on 3rd July.
Our conversation continued for around half an hour. I asked about her future husband and all.
She: He is an Engineer. Actually, I don’t know him very much. I just met him once at our engagement “.
Me: How did you agree to the wedding?
She: What agree? No one asked me about this. Nobody cares what I want, whom I want. By the way that’s a long story, I will tell you later, you have to come at any cost. And cuts the phone after a formal goodbye.
我们都相信她将拥有光明的未来。她想成为一名教师。她拥有所有品质。但她家的财务状况并不乐观。
她的父亲是一所小学的印地语教师，当时几乎每月收入₹10,000 / – 。他对两个女儿都非常严格。也许这就是她粗鲁和孤独的原因。
经过我们的第十次考试，我们所有的朋友都分开了。之后我们没有任何谈话。我唯一了解她的是她被录取了+2科学。
在我们的第10次考试后2 – 3年，我从某人那里听说她的父亲阻止她学习，因为她爱她大学里的某个人。他以为她可以把它留给那个男孩。
我不知道有关这方面的任何详细信息，因为我没有她的任何联系电话，也没有任何关于她个人生活的兴趣。但是，我为她感到难过。
她星期二晚上打电话给我。我不知道她的号码在哪里，也许来自一些共同的朋友。她叫我邀请我参加7月3日的婚礼。
我们的谈话持续了大约半个小时。我询问了她未来的丈夫和所有人。
她：他是一名工程师。实际上，我不太了解他。我刚刚订婚时遇见过他。”
我：你是怎么同意婚礼的？
她：什么同意？没有人问我这件事。没有人关心我想要的，我想要的是谁。顺便说一下，这是一个很长的故事，我稍后会告诉你，你必须不惜一切代价。正式再见后切断手机。
The irony is:-
· She can marry an unknown person but not talk to a known person in public.
· She can sleep with an unknown guy for her whole life but not love a known one.
· Her father can allow her to be raped after marriage but not to have sex before marriage.
Thank you for your time!
AJIT KUMAR PANIGRAHI
具有讽刺意味的是： –
· 她可以嫁给一个不知名的人，但不能在公共场合与一个已知的人交谈。
· 她可以和一个不知名的男人一起睡觉，但不爱一个已知的人。
· 她的父亲可以允许她在结婚后被强奸但不能在结婚前发生性关系。
感谢您的时间！
AJIT KUMAR PANIGRAHI
, Orator | Proud Indian
The biggest ironies in India:
1. Uncles want girls to cover themselves properly, but that same man would be telling his daughter she looks beautiful if she wears a short skirt.
2. 10 inches of back visible is OK because its a saree, but 5 inches of the navel area visible is not OK because its a crop top.
3. “Sharma ji ke bete ne top kara (Sharma uncle’s son bagged the first position)” would be told to us, but “Sharma ji ke bete ka 4th time break up hua (Sharma uncle’s son broke up for the 4th time)” would be known by nobody.
4. Children are blamed for having friends who smoke and drink. The same parents come home drunk with cigarettes pinched between their fingers.
5. A man hits a woman, domestic violence case registered. The man’s career along with his reputation is doomed. Woman hits a man and records it, the woman is brave and courageous.
6. Bollywood actors and actresses are our heroes and heroines. Army men and farmers are left to die.
7. Indians can fight any country in the world. But Indians are unable to fight the renegades dwelling among them, who commend terrorist strikes like the Pulwama attacks.
8. People like to strip army men of their dignity and honour. The same people want the army to look after them.
9. People are sitting on their sofas in their air-conditioned rooms with breakfast, lunch and dinner served to them on their dining tables. The same people comment on social media that they have had enough and want a war.
10. Fuel prices are sky high and affect a common man with a car. A minister of the same country with a 20 car convoy seems unaffected.
11. Parents tell their children, “Khaa khaa ke mota hora hai, thodha exercise kar (You’re going obese by eating so much, you should exercise)”. The same parents would restrict their children from exercising because “abhi exercise karega toh padhega kab (If you’ll exercise right now, when are you planning to study?)
12. Teenagers with rich dads like to act all gangsta, posing with guns in their hands and posting pictures on social media. The same teens refuse to join the army in trepidation.
13. People want more and more people to join the forces. The same people restrict their children from joining the army.
14. People want the upcoming generation to be patriotic. The same people went abroad after taking whatever they found useful.
15. Ministers criticise the forces for being corrupt and unable to do anything. The same forces are used by the ministers for security.
16. Men want a virgin woman for marriage. The same men want to sleep with as many women as possible before marriage.
17. Men want a woman to marry their sons. The same men performed a female feticide thrice before getting a boy.
18. You’ll be paid for a job that everyone else is doing, but you won’t be paid for your passion that no one else can do.
19. Everyone wants a change. But nobody wants to change.
20. The older generation wants the younger generation to be devoid of malpractices like corruption. The same people fostered corruption.
21. People want to become doctors to do something for the world. The same doctors do not bat an eye if the poor cannot afford their treatment.
22. People want to be good parents. The same people do not let their children follow their passion.
23. People say looks don’t matter. The same people would buy creams to become fairer and get surgeries for a nose that is slimmer.
24. Parents say their children aren’t creative. The same parents forced their son to take PCM instead of Arts.
25. Girls are like, “Fuck man, I am so fucked. Life keeps fucking me goddamn it” The same girls go ‘eww, don’t you have any manners’ when a guy says “L**de lag gaye yaar (I’m fucked)”.
26. Parents scold their children when the kids litter their house. The same parents want their children to throw the garbage on the street.
27. People want their nation to get more creative, the same people dislike the videos of a new Indian YouTuber.
28. People want their nation to be like other nations. The same people mock those who get inspired by foreign artists, and label them as mimics.
29. Parents say they’re living for their children. The same parents make the children live for them by forcing them to fulfil the dreams they (the parents) weren’t able to.
30. People want the youth to do something. The same people won’t upvote/share the answer of a teen on Quora who’s trying to do something. [You see what I did there ;)]
EDIT: Two new points, suggested by :
1. People want Indian members to bag gold medals in sports. The same people tell their children that sports will give them nothing to eat.
2. People want equal participation in work force. The same people think that it’s no use getting their daughter educated.
Thank for reading. Please share. 🙂
1. 叔叔希望女孩们能够正确地遮住自己，但同样的男人会告诉他的女儿，如果她穿着短裙，她看起来很漂亮。
2. 10英寸的背部可见是可以的，因为它是一个纱丽，但可见的5英寸的肚脐区域是不好的，因为它是一个裁剪顶部。
3. “Sharma ji ke bete ne top kara （Sharma叔叔的儿子成为第一个位置） “将告诉我们，但是”Sharma ji ke bete ka第4次分手华（Sharma叔叔的儿子第4次分手） “将是没有人知道。
4. 孩子们被指责有吸烟和喝酒的朋友。同样的父母喝醉了，手指夹着香烟。
5. 一名男子遭遇女性，家庭暴力案件已登记。这个男人的职业生涯以及他的声誉注定要失败。女人击中男人并记录下来，女人是勇敢和勇敢的。
6. 宝莱坞演员是我们的英雄和女主角。军人和农民都死了。
7. 印度人可以与世界上任何一个国家作战。但是，印第安人无法与在他们中间居住的叛徒作斗争，他们赞扬像Pulwama袭击这样的恐怖袭击。
8. 人们喜欢剥夺军人的尊严和荣誉。同样的人希望军队照顾他们。
9. 人们坐在沙发上的空调房里，在他们的餐桌上为他们提供早餐，午餐和晚餐。同样的人在社交媒体上评论说他们已经受够了并且想要一场战争。
10. 燃料价格高得离谱，影响了一个拥有汽车的普通人。同一个国家的一个拥有20辆汽车车队的部长似乎没有受到影响。
11. 父母告诉他们的孩子，”Khaa khaa ke mota hora hai，thodha exercise kar （你吃了这么多就会肥胖，你应该运动） “。同样的父母会限制他们的孩子锻炼，因为”abhi锻炼karega toh padhega kab （如果你现在就锻炼，你什么时候打算学习？）
12. 有钱的青少年喜欢扮演所有黑帮，手里拿着枪，在社交媒体上张贴照片。同样的青少年拒绝加入军队惶恐不安。
13. 人们希望越来越多的人加入这支部队。同样的人限制他们的孩子加入军队。
14. 人们希望新一代人能够爱国。服用了他们认为有用的东西之后，同样的人出国了。
15. 部长们批评部队腐败无能为力。部长们使用同样的力量来保障安全。
16. 男人想要一个处女的婚姻。在结婚之前，同样的男人想和尽可能多的女人一起睡觉。
17. 男人想要一个女人嫁给他们的儿子。在男孩生男之前，同样的男人进行了三次女性堕胎。
18. 你会得到一份其他人都在做的工作的报酬，但你不会因为没有其他人能做的你的激情而得到报酬。
19. 每个人都想要改变。但是，没有人愿意来改变。
20. 老一辈希望年轻一代没有像腐败这样的弊端。同样的人助长了腐败。
21. 人们希望成为医生为世界做点什么。如果穷人负担不起他们的治疗，同样的医生也不会睁眼。
22. 人们希望成为好父母。同样的人不会让他们的孩子追随他们的激情。
23. 人们说看起来无所谓。同样的人会购买面霜变得更公平，并做一个更苗条的鼻子手术。
24. 父母说他们的孩子没有创造力。同样的父母强迫他们的儿子服用PCM而不是艺术。
25. 女孩子就像，”他妈的，我很性交。生活一直在他妈的该死的”同样的女孩去’eww，当你说”L ** de lag gaye yaar（我性交）时，你有没有礼貌”。
26. 当孩子们乱丢他们的房子时，父母责骂他们的孩子。同样的父母希望他们的孩子把垃圾丢在街上。
27. 人们希望他们的国家变得更有创意，同样的人不喜欢新印度YouTuber的视频。
28. 人们希望他们的国家像其他国家一样。同样的人嘲笑那些受到外国艺术家启发的人，并将其标记为模仿。
29. 父母说他们是为孩子而活。同样的父母通过强迫他们实现他们（父母）无法实现的梦想，让孩子为他们而活。
30. 人们希望年轻人做点什么。同样的人不会在Quora上试图做某事的人投票/分享青少年的答案。[ 你看我在那里做了什么;）]
编辑：建议的两个新观点：
1. 人们希望印度成员在体育运动中获得金牌。同样的人告诉他们的孩子，运动会让他们无所事事。
2. 人们希望平等参与劳动力。同样的人认为让女儿接受教育是没有用的。
